Nuts Who Are About to Crack

E called me on the phone after my mom picked him up from his dad's this afternoon in our old hometown, T. They're going to stay there till tomorrow, seeing as how I'm currently trying to see how much studying I can cram into my brain before Monday and the Physiology final (went almost 12 hours today, it was amazing...And exhausting...). Anyway, so E called me and was chatting away about what his dad got him for his birthday. I was like, yes, yes, I know, your birthday was totally 2 weeks ago and you already gave me this list, I know your presents were fantastic. Enough already...Ha, kidding. But seriously...Toward the end of the conversation, I asked him if he had gotten me a Mother's Day present (which, I need one. And he likes to give me gifts. Although usually they come in the form of pretend food made from bathwater and soap bubbles...). He said "No..." in a worried tone of voice, so I laughingly reassured him that Nanay would help him pick something out. He apparently rejected that thought, though, because the next thing I heard was him speaking to my mom: "Nanay, I need to buy my mom a present. I think she wants a nutcracker."

(I have to explain: E has a rather peculiar obsession with nutcrackers, and he always has, from the time he was very small. He actually has 3 or 4 now, as I've been buying cool specimens (pirate nutcracker, knight nutcracker, prince nutcracker) since he was a tiny baby. Last Christmas, his favorite movie was "The Nutcracker Ballet" (the version with Macaulay Culkin, actually). In addition, he likes to pretend that HE'S a nutcracker, and he'll put on "nutcracker makeup", go as stiff and expressionless as a board, and open/close his mouth if you "pull" on an imaginary handle on his back. The kid has an imagination like someone on hallucinogens...)


Anyway, so he then returned to his conversation with me: "Mom, do you want a nutcracker?" I said "Sure, honey, I'll love whatever you give me." He then asked "Well, would you like a small one or a big one?" I reiterated "Just pick something out." E: "Ok, you want a big one."

Looks like a big nutcracker is in my future.

I wish I didn't have to work so hard at this whole med school thing (which, ok, I kinda knew what I was getting myself into...doesn't mean I have to like it any more). It feels like I get up, take him to "daycare" (aka Nanay and Poppa's house), go to school or to study, get home in time for dinner, and then it's bedtime. I hate that feeling. It's not really as bad as that, and I have the weekends, but it's still not like being a SAHM would be. Non-moms really don't understand the conflicts that pull us, do they? Anyway, I miss being able to spend my free time with E.

Scratch that. I just miss free time. Period.