Ms Hoffman, you hit the nail on the head

Today, I finished reading "So Much Pretty" by Cara Hoffman.  This is not a review, so don't expect one.  (I will say that I generally enjoyed it, and the concept was very thought-provoking.  But I skimmed through the last few chapters because I'd already figured out what the author was leading up to and I just wanted to know what happened afterwards.  The writing was good, but she drew it out too much and gave too many hints, so the climax was not shocking or surprising in any way.  Maybe she meant it that way.  Whatever.)

Regardless, there was one particular paragraph of the book that stuck with me.  During this particular scene, a man named Con is watching an impromptu performance by Alice, the daughter of his friends Gene and Claire:

~Gene began to laugh quietly again, and his eyes filled with tears.  Con had seen this before.  One time when he'd accompanied Gene and Claire to a play at Alice's school, Gene had to walk out twice because he couldn't stop laughing whenever she spoke, tears just rolling down his face. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," he had told them, still laughing as they waited for Alice in the parking lot afterward and then heaving a shaky sigh to try and break the absurdity. "God! I love her so much."~

I don't know if you've ever had this happen to you, but I have.  Once when my brother was in some Charlie Brown production, every time he came on the stage, I could feel myself get all tachycardic and almost pass out with the excitement of just listening to him speak.  And there was the time I watched my sister dance in a summer production, when I could barely see her through the mist of tears.

And with E, I can feel that peculiar mix of emotions perpetually under the surface of my conscious, waiting for the moment when his impish smile, his adorable dimples, his oversized words, his infectious giggle, will make all of that affection overflow.  When I will struggle to control my laughter and will hold back tears in my eyes because my son is so alive.  And he brings me so much joy.