We have strong rules on language in our household. No matter what your parents tell you when you're a child, words freaking hurt. I hate the thought of my son hurting some other child with the words he chooses to use. And I hate to hear kids speaking cruelly to each other. Kids have to hear those phrases from somewhere/someone, and the next step is that no one tells them it's not ok to say such things. Once they reach school-age, kids' teachers can run themselves nutty trying to keep the little boogers from sprouting potty mouths (in this case, meaning saying ugly things, not necessarily dirty things...), but it won't do any good unless the initial effort starts from home.
Speaking of, I happen to have a very sarcastic, critical, hurtful tongue (that my poor siblings and parents are fully acquainted with). I know they don't believe me, but I do actively work on curbing it (stop rolling your eyes, Family Members).
But ever since he was old enough to know what words were and how to use them, my son has not been allowed to call people names (especially "stupid") or to say "shut up". These are simple phrases that you or I may say every day to a hundred different people. But just because they're common doesn't mean that they can't be used to hurt. I figure that if certain words or phrases happen to crop up most often when you're angry (and shouting them at someone), it's probably a sign that you shouldn't be using those words at all. Especially around the little creatures who are learning how to be people by copying everything you do. My son will reach his hateful teen-angst years soon enough. I don't need to hear him be casually cruel to anyone before Mother Nature takes a hand with her hormones.
It helps that he doesn't have a sibling, of course. I'm sure that if he did, we'd be having another conversation entirely. Because goodness knows that my brother, sister and I called each other all sorts of things that my parents knew nothing about (most of the time). Also, he has thus far failed to try any swear words out (although I know he's heard them...don't ask me how I know...just accept that sometimes Mommy gets startled...), and he hasn't brought home any language from school (despite the fact that I've heard the way some of his friends talk to each other).
As it is, my only child calls no names and shouts no "shut up"s when people tell him things he doesn't want to hear. He still finds plenty of ways to make his displeasure known, but without saying anything hurtful. We talk about word choices frequently, and he's fully aware of the power of the words he chooses to use. He has moments when he gets in trouble for things he says, but usually that's because of his tone rather than the actual words (and that, I have to admit, he comes by honestly. Or you've never met me.)
This diligence, however, has somewhat bitten me in the backside. Because he also happens to be an excellent word policeman. Which helps me curb my own word choices around him. But I just had to relax the rules regarding "stupid," so that I would be able to describe some of the things that happen to me at work on a daily basis... I'm not allowed to call people names. But I can call stupid events whatever the heck I want.
No comments:
Post a Comment