Food Critic

Tonight, it was just E and me eating, so I broached the subject of a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich for dinner. Now, I know what you're thinking, but in my defense, we're both sick, and we'd been snacking on and off throughout the afternoon, so I knew neither of us was very hungry. And I figured, PB&J, pretty innocuous, this shouldn't be too much of a struggle.

Well, first, E goes "I just want a sandwich with peanut butter. No jelly."
And I'm like, well, that's weird. What normal kid wants that? So I said "Have you ever HAD jelly?"
He goes "No, but one time I saw a bug in this movie at Aunt Sarah's house...have you ever seen that movie with Little Foot? Well, there was a bug with ink that came out of it like this," [imagine him scrunching up his face, mashing his hands together, and making disgusting squishing noises with his mouth] "and it looked just like jelly."

And despite the fact that I personally love jelly and was already salivating over the thought of the sweetness in my mouth, for a second, I knew exactly what he was thinking of, and it was disgusting.

We didn't have PB&J for dinner.